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Don’t Let This Happen to You: Don’t Let Me Catch You Slipping

April 4, 2012

I love my high heels just like the rest of you.  Whether high heels or high wedges.  I mostly wear what I am comfortable with so I don’t look like a bird ready to take off and start flying.  I say that because I am still seeing a lot of you ladies out there wearing high heels and high wedges you simply can’t walk in and are giving the rest of us expert high heel veterans a bad name and just making us look bad.  Come on now!  If you aint never put on a pair of 6-inch high heels, and this is your first time in high heels, you’re in a world of hurt and you’re in for a rude awakening.  Think about it, you need to start small and work your way up.  That’s how I started my daughter out — started her out in a low heel and worked her up to what I know she can handle.   Bottom line is you need to find where you are comfortable and stick with it, otherwise you can very well expect to be looked at with raised eyebrows, and the whole experience can go really wrong really quick. 

Ever see someone face plant because they couldn’t get their bearings straight in a pair of 6-inch high heels?  Couldn’t walk in them, not even in 5-inch high heels.  Models do it all the time.  You’ve seen them hit the run way — falling on their butts.  And even in 5-inch high heels, some women just  can’t handle the pressure of the height.  It’s intimidating to see women in killer high heels and you think, “well, if she can wear them and make it look easy, so can I.”  That is not the case at all — get over it! 

I like 5-inch heels and my 6-inch heels, and with platforms.  I won’t go higher than 6-inch because that is just my limit.  Anything higher than that is just freakishly wrong.  And I know what I can walk in compared to anything else.  So I am not about to make myself look crazy under no circumstances.

Walking in high heels is supposed to have an even 1-2-step.  Almost like a cli-clack-cli-clack beat.  But if you’re stuck on a 1-1-step motion and in a cli-cli-cl-cli-motion, that means it almost sounds like your stumping and thumping along and can’t get it together.  First of all, are the shoes you are wearing too high?  If so, take them off!  Hello!  Can you hear me?  I’m not trying to be mean, but seriously, go with something much lower, something you can handle.  It’s one thing trying to look hot and sexy, pretty and cute, it’s another thing to look like a fool cluck-clucking around in shoes you can’t even walk in.  Forget about how nice your outfit looks, what’s wrong with the way you’re walking?  I’m just saying.

I have been in high heels since I was 15-years old.  My mother used to knock my knees if she heard me thumping along.  She taught me balance — walk with my back straight and my head high.  And I didn’t have no book sometimes.  Just practice is all it took.  I can put on a pair of heels and strut with the best of them because if I act like I know what I’m doing, I sure as hell better look like I know what I’m doing, too.

So, this brings me to the lady I saw today at work.  She was dressed very summery in her print black and white summer dress, nice sunglasses, but the problem is I heard her coming before I even noticed her outfit.  Just a thump-thumping away.  It was a hot mess the way she kept thumping around the campus.  I wanted to ask her to just sit down and stop walking.  It was making my head spin.  Now I had on my tan and black 4 1/2-inch Jessica Simpsons high heels today (I’ll post a picture of them later).  I love them.  And it made me question if whether or not I look like that when I walk.  Um…the verdict is in and no I do not walk that way.  She had on a pair of 6-inch wedges.  They had buckles over the in-step of the feet, and they looked like they were a size too big.  A definite don’t in my world of wearing high heel shoes, especially in a wedge.  You wear wedges that are too small or too big and you’re leaving yourself wide open for a whole lot of foot problems — and that’s basically with any shoes.

They were nice wedges all the same, but clearly she was experiencing some problems in wearing. I think she was happy her ride came along so she could get into the car, slip the shoes off and treat her feet with a little more respect. 

In short, it was a poor display of trying to look cute in shoes that were too big and couldn’t even walk it.  Did she second guess her shoes selection for the day, I highly doubt it.  So, I’ll leave you with this…don’t let this happen to you and don’t let me catch you slipping, because I could be talking about you next time in the do’s and don’ts of wearing high heel shoes.


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